The Luminiferous Heartbr​[​ache]

by City of the Asleep

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These songs all started life as raw punk songs, but then I slowed them down and ran them through so many filters and effects that they got smeared into something resembling dream pop. The lyrics are a different approach for me, I don't usually write about feelings and relationships, but after a string of heartache-inducing dates, it was all I could get myself to write about for a while.


released April 12, 2016




City of the Asleep Seattle, Washington

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Track Name: The Love That Lies Before Us
If I could say that I knew what was coming
Would you believe that I’d be who you wanted?
Should it matter? Are we so reluctant?
Are the stakes so high?

If you could know for certain,
Every detail yet to come…
If everything could be perfect,
Would you be satisfied?

It doesn’t matter, these questions have no answer,
we cannot see, beyond the earth beneath us.
The stars could be aligned beyond perfection,
and yet we’d never comprehend it.

Take my hand, the moment is upon us.
There can be no greater good
than to grasp the love that lies before us
And wrap it in the gauze of hope.
Track Name: Desperation
Desperation drills
through the plaster of my patience
I hunger for the bell
And the surge of dopamine

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The genesis of heartache
How can I still feel this?
I wanted to erase it.
Contemplate the absence
Desire the denial
Forgive what can’t be given
Regret it all.

Elastic like my heart strings
Snapping back again
These chances pass like water
through my foolish hands

Do you hear the echos
In my empty heart?
How can you deny them
When you feel the same?

You know.
This wasn’t meant to be.
You know.
This was meant to be over.
Track Name: How It Should Be
What I thought this was
The straining of the hope against
the fear, I should have known
Love can never match what’s in my dreams

And, so, it breaks.
It will always end this way.
Everyone I’ve ever loved:
illusions that I pulled undone.
Every time I’ve ever tried,
my heart has been the first to die

I can see it clear:
In dreams there is a beauty
that transcends through absurdity—
a perfect match that I will never find in waking life
(because it lives inside me).
I am alone, and that’s how I should be.

Only clouded skies
Can restrain the shadows
Of the light of day

Only emptiness
Can contain the fullness
of a broken heart

I need this beauty
To give me meaning
To justify what
I’m always losing
Track Name: Our Damages
As the tears turn to salt,
and old letters are thrown away,
a sigh escapes through bloodless lips:
it always ends this way.

It’s no surprise,
this pattern defines us all.
Anyone who isn’t broken
will soon enough take their fall.

Every hand that has touched me
was an atlas drawn in scars,
their fingers gnarled and contorted
so distinctly like my own.

And yet I pull away in horror,
or else they pull away from me,
making yet another scar, a thicker wall around the heart...
our damages define who we are
Track Name: Today the Past Came Back for Revenge
In sunset tones I see, reflections of a dream
Receding into distance, on the rails of memory.
Am I the dreamer or the dream?
Do I even see the line between, or am I lost in absurdity?

Too late. The moment flickers past.
Reality insists, but truth is only in the past.

To know the solace of a solitary mind,
subsisting on what love has left behind
To live upon the surface of insanity,
and drink the depths of listlessness and cold complacency.

In these vagrant vacancies, a sense of urgency,
to cross another bridge, across the dark and deep.
If I get pulled beneath, by the stone of disbelief,
Will I stay there on the bottom, choking on my grief?

At night, alone, I search for something.
Patience drains with every breath.
If I collapse, the march of time will carry on,
And you will find me, by the wayside.

Apathy decides, what memory divides,
Anxiety despises what determination desperately defines.